an ode to San Francisco in the summertime, wonderful glorious foggy grey, adapted from Monty Python – Spam
Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what’ve you got?
Waitress: Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and grey; egg bacon and grey; egg bacon sausage and grey; grey bacon sausage and grey; grey egg grey grey bacon and grey; grey sausage grey grey bacon grey tomato and grey;
Vikings: grey grey grey grey…
Waitress: …grey grey grey egg and grey; grey grey grey grey grey grey baked beans grey grey grey…
Vikings: grey! Lovely grey! Lovely grey!
Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and grey.
Wife: Have you got anything without grey?
Waitress: Well, there’s grey egg sausage and grey, that’s not got much grey in it.
Wife: I don’t want ANY grey!
Man: Why can’t she have egg bacon grey and sausage?
Wife: THAT’S got grey in it!
Man: Hasn’t got as much grey in it as grey egg sausage and grey, has it?
Vikings: grey grey grey grey… (Crescendo through next few lines…)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon grey and sausage without the grey then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like grey!
Vikings: Lovely grey! Wonderful grey!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely grey! Wonderful grey!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon grey and sausage without the grey.
Wife: I don’t like grey!
Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your grey. I love it. I’m having grey grey grey grey grey grey grey beaked beans grey grey grey and grey!
Vikings: grey grey grey grey. Lovely grey! Wonderful grey!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her grey instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean grey grey grey grey grey grey… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately…) grey grey grey grey. Lovely grey! Wonderful grey! grey gre-e-e-e-e-ey grey gre-e-e-e-e-y grey. Lovely grey! Lovely grey! Lovely grey! Lovely grey! Lovely grey! grey grey grey grey!